Who Do You Blame?
When You Blame Others, You Give Them Power Over Your Life
Let's get one thing clear. It's very easy to blame other people or situations for the things that have gone wrong in your life. It really is.
Because if you think about it, when you blame other people or situations you can't control, it feels good. How come? Well, first of all, it means you don't have to change.
This means that there's nothing wrong with you and there's nothing to apologize for. It's somebody else's fault.
When you put the blame squarely on other people, the responsibility for changing lies with them. You are the victim here. You are the one who was harmed.
You were the one who has to live with the effects of the harm caused by others on you. Why should you change? Why should you sacrifice? Why should you put in the time, effort and energy to turn things around?
This refusal of responsibility is very liberating to a lot of people because, hey, let's face it, change is a very scary thing for a lot of people. First of all, it takes a lot of effort. It also takes a lot of self-awareness.
Well, think about it. If you are going to be self-aware, this means that you're probably going to discover a lot of things about yourself that you might not be all that happy with. Who knows what you will knock loose? Who knows what you would uncover?
There are many psychological rocks out there that you have put on lockdown. What kind of horrors do they contain?
You dispense with all of that when you put the blame for whatever is wrong is your life squarely on the shoulders of your parents, the bully in school, the friends who misunderstood you, the ex that broke your heart, and so on and so forth.
In fact, if you are a typical person, chances are, the laundry list of people who somehow, someway, share the blame for whatever has gone wrong with everything in your life is actually quite long.
I know that it feels good to do this, but it's also the most damaging thing you could do to yourself. How come? Well, when you blame other people, you're basically saying to yourself that since they caused the problems in your life, they're the ones who can fix it, not you.
In fact, the reason why you feel so good about blaming others is because of the fact that you don't have to change. You don't have to solve things. You don't have to take ownership of what's gone wrong. You dispense with all of that because the problem is the other guy. It's his problem, not yours.
But here's where things get rough. The more you blame others beyond your control, the more you give them power over your life. It's as if you are consigning or resigning yourself to living your life on autopilot. You're stuck.
The reason you're reading this is that you have anxiety issues. The reason you're reading this in the first place is that you want to get out from under the negative effects of the anxiety in your life.
Unfortunately, when you blame that anxiety on other people and situations you can't control, you've given them power because, ultimately, on a purely logical basis, they have the solution. They caused the problem, so they have the solution.
The problem is, they are not in any compulsion or responsibility to solve your life. They've moved on. They've got problems of their own.
So here you are, stuck. You're hanging on to the cold comfort that somehow, someway, everything that's wrong with your life is somebody else's fault.
Even if that were true, it's still your responsibility to yourself to take ownership of your problems and take steps to solve them.
I know this is a nasty news flash, but nobody's going to take those steps for you. Nobody can be bothered. How come? Everybody's got problems of their own as it is.
You have to step up. You have to take the initiative.
To figure out how to do this is a quick, effective and powerful way, visit www.detoxia.co.uk so that you can regain control of your life by refusing to blame others.
While the problems in your life may not have been directly caused by you, you are still responsible for how you respond to the chain reaction that other people have started in your life. That responsibility will never leave you. That is yours and yours alone.